Be Gentle with Yourself.

I have been home from the conference for 6 days. Between the shifting time zones, the late nights and early mornings, the emotional investment, and the disruption of my exercise routine, I was exhausted.

I did not take all of this into consideration in my life planning. I filled my schedule with classes, meetings, and appointments as soon as I returned. I definitely was not gentle with myself. I kept pushing, pushing, and more pushing.

This weekend, however, I did give myself some time to recalibrate. On Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, I allowed my schedule to ease up, giving myself the space to rest and rebalance.

I did the same thing in the early stages of my grief. I went back to work 2 weeks after my sister died. My employer offered me more time to grieve, but I turned it down because I needed to get back to work. In 20/20 hindsight, I realized it served two functions: it allowed me to think of something other than my dead sister, and it distracted me from confronting my grief.

This is a perfect example of letting go of the judgment of our actions and examining the patterns of how our actions are either empowering, disempowering, or both. Keeping busy, for me, is both. It is empowering because it allows me to take a break from the negative spiral I went down during my grief, and it was disempowering because it diverted my attention from something I needed to deal with.

When I got gentle with myself, I was able to examine my patterns without emotion—and I can easily change them. I have changed many patterns in my life. I changed my lifestyle, I changed my physical health, I have changed jobs, and I have changed many other areas.

How you do one thing is how you do everything. So, if you can change one pattern, you can change others.

Be gentle with yourself and notice which patterns in your life you need to change.