Gratitude for what you Have.

I just got back from teaching a yoga retreat at Kripalu Center in Massachusetts. The name of the workshop was “The Inner Quest Intensive.” It was an entire weekend of slowing down, going inside, and befriending all parts of our lives (including our challenges).

How can I befriend my challenges when they are causing me to feel terrible?

In the early stages of my grief, I spent all my time focusing on what I had lost, not on what I had. In every moment, what is amazing about life and what is horrible about life are both present. The trick is to focus your attention on all the amazing things you have going on, rather than constantly focusing on the negative aspects. All this requires is a simple re-focus of your attention.

If you read the highlighted word, I said simple, I did not say easy. Sometimes the simple things are the hardest to accomplish. And when all you can do is think about the death of your loved one, it seems nearly impossible to redirect your focus to all the beautiful things in your life (and sometimes we even feel guilty doing so).

When I remember a time when my sister was alive, I did not think about her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So why was it that when she first died, that was all I could think about?

Finding gratitude for all that we have takes practice. Start with one thing that is super small. A great example is when you wake up in the morning—be thankful you opened your eyes or that you put your feet on the floor. Pick something you can practice every single day. Once the practice of gratitude becomes a habit (60–90 days), then move on to a second thing. Build up your gratitude one thing at a time.

Once you have created a list of amazing things in your life, you will have the ability to make a choice when things go off the rails. This does not mean we are going to be happy every moment of every day—that’s impossible. But it does give you the choice to choose what you want to focus on.

There are days when choosing to be sad or angry or frustrated or lazy is exactly what I need to do. And there are days when those emotions arise and I choose to quickly accept them and shift to a more empowering emotion like peace or excitement.

Where your focus goes, your energy flows. So, whenever possible, I find gratitude for all that I have.