The Journey is the Destination.
As I was deciding what to write for this blog post, 1,000 different topics popped into my head. If you could turn back time (thanks, Cher), managing the stuff left behind and helping others were just a few of the topic contenders. I was starting to overwhelm myself and get frustrated with that internal chit-chat.
I then decided to implement a tool that I teach to my clients (I practice what I preach). Whenever you are at a point of indecision, overwhelm, frustration, or sadness, MOVE YOUR BODY. Move in any direction: front, back, left, right, up, down, in, or out. I realized that if I were to just sit and write, the topic would show up. Even when I have an expectation of what I want to write about, it changes when I start writing. As soon as I made the decision to move, the topic appeared.
When I am taking a trip somewhere, there are three things that I need in order for me to get to where I am going using my car's GPS system. The first thing is the starting point: Where am I now? Number two is the destination: Where am I going? And the third is movement. The GPS cannot recalculate without movement. Even if you take a wrong turn, the GPS will recalculate and put you back on course.
In my early stages of grief, the only thing I could focus on was the "Where am I now?" part of the equation. I was in so much pain (that I was pushing down) that I could not even see the vision of "Where do I want to go?"
The "Where do I want to go?" seemed like too big of a leap. I started to discover that if I put myself in motion, then those answers would come. So, I started breaking them down into smaller, moment-by-moment bits. I took that strategy into my day-to-day routines. Where am I now? In bed. Movement? Feet on the floor. Where do I want to go? Out of bed. Where am I now? I am hungry. Movement? Eat. Where do I want to be? Satiated. Where am I now? My body smells. Movement? Take a shower. Where do I want to go? Clean body that smells good.
The journey becomes the destination. In planning a vacation, you do not say to yourself, "I am going to travel to a place, have some experiences, and come back home. So, if I am going to end up back at home, there is no point to going on the trip in the first place." No, you go on the journey to have the experience of the journey.
Putting yourself into motion in any direction is the path. You cannot do grief wrong. So, whichever direction you go takes you on the journey that is meant for you. And rather than fighting the journey, have faith that no matter how much pain you are in right now, if you keep moving, your GPS System (aka Higher Power) will redirect you to get yourself moving in the direction meant for you.
Safe travels,