Chose Freedom.

Around this time of year, because of both Passover and Easter, I contemplate how I hold myself back, keeping myself a slave to my own belief systems, and how I can free myself through the rebirth of thinking differently.

So often, people talk about those transgenerational traumas that keep repeating themselves generation after generation.

But what about those transgenerational victories that keep us connected through time to our people?

During Passover, we retell the story of the Jews’ exodus from Egypt, going from slavery to freedom. Within the telling of the story, we are commanded to re-experience the journey (through eating bitter herbs, matzah, and recounting the 10 plagues) as if it were happening today, bringing the past into the present moment.

We remember the hard times so we do not repeat them. And we can be grateful for all the beautiful times and freedoms we are currently experiencing.

I look at my sister’s death in the same way.

In the beginning, all I could see was the pain and horror of losing her. It was the worst experience I have ever had to endure. I did not want to talk about it with anyone. I wanted to shut it away and pretend like it never even happened.

Closing myself off to the experience did not make my life better. In fact, it made things harder. I was ignoring the reality of the present moment, trying to keep the past in the past.

Once I started to talk about it and process the emotions, thought patterns, and physical sensations, things started to change. I began to realize that there were patterns in my life I needed to change so I would not repeat some of the things I regretted with my sister.

Holding back my love from her.

In life, my sister was a tough cookie. We had a very tumultuous relationship—on again, off again, then back on again. Even though there were rough times, I loved her nonetheless. And there were definitely times when that love was conditional.

Conditional on her not being a pain in my ass.
Conditional on her finding a different relationship (her fiancé was problematic).
Conditional on her having better self-esteem.

I will not let my love be conditional anymore.

Telling people how I feel about them in the moment.

Lauren died in a car accident. She was here one day and gone the next. I did not have the opportunity to say goodbye or tell her all the ways she impacted my life. It was a powerful reminder not to wait for anything. Time is not a given. We have to make the most of each moment.

My commitment, to her and to myself, is to make each moment count.

Letting go of my selfishness.

Before she passed, everything I did was self-centric. It was all about me. Her passing made me realize that we are here to serve others. Yes, we have to make sure we are taken care of (put your oxygen mask on first) before we help others. But what I have learned is that serving others serves me first. It gives me purpose and meaning.

We have zero control over the situations that show up in our lives.

We cannot control outcomes.
We cannot control other people.

But we do have control over the meaning we give things.

We can decide if a situation is going to destroy us or make us more resilient.
If it is going to kill us or make us grow.
If it is going to enslave us or give us freedom.

Choose freedom.

Go with power,
Jason

If the story you’re telling yourself is keeping you stuck, let’s rewrite it together.
Reach out if you want help seeing a different path forward.

Try this Simple Practice:

Rewrite the Stories We Tell Ourselves

When something difficult happens, our minds automatically create a story about what it means. Most of the time, we never question that story.

Try this simple three-step practice:

1. Notice the Story
Ask yourself: What story am I telling myself about this situation?
Example: “This shouldn’t have happened.” or “I’m not good enough.”

2. Question the Meaning
Ask: Is this the only possible meaning?
Often the answer is no.

3. Choose a New Story
Ask: What meaning could give me more freedom, strength, or love?

Example:
Instead of “This broke me,”
the new story becomes “This is teaching me something important.”

The situation may not change.
But the meaning you give it always can.

And sometimes, that shift in meaning is the first step toward freedom.