Get Back to Basics.
Sometimes self-care isn’t candles and bubble baths. Sometimes it’s getting out of bed, putting on jeans, and deciding to keep going.
As I go through all the Mother’s Day cards, there is a theme of spa days, massages, bubble baths, and candles. Apparently, these are the things we now call self-care.
And honestly? That definition drives me a little crazy.
How did fully taking care of ourselves become associated only with these picture-perfect activities? In the early stages of grief, I was lucky if I could get out of bed and make it to work… never mind booking a massage. In fact, after my sister died, I didn’t want anyone to touch me.
I vote for a new definition of self-care. One that gets back to the basics.
Getting the right amount of sleep. Putting your feet on the floor. Taking a shower. Getting dressed. Eating something nourishing. Walking around the block. These are the real building blocks of self-care.
And when you’re grieving, even those things can feel enormous. Grief brain is real. Your attention gets pulled in a thousand directions at once. You forget things. You lose focus. Everything feels heavier than it should.
So instead of trying to do everything, I picked one thing I could do consistently. One thing that became non-negotiable.
During the pandemic, that thing was getting dressed every day. I knew if I stayed in pajamas all day, like everyone online was proudly talking about, it would slowly drain my motivation.
Now, was it always easy? Absolutely not. There were plenty of days I wanted to stay in my sleepwear. But I realized something important: for me, staying in pajamas all day wasn’t self-care. It was self-sabotage.
So off came the pajamas. On went the jeans and shirt.
Don’t get me wrong…I love a good spa day, massage, or bubble bath. Those things can absolutely be part of self-care. They’re just not the whole thing.
The most important part of self-care is what we do for ourselves every single day. The small things. The basic things. The things that quietly keep us going.
Get back to the basics.
Go with power,
Jason
After loss, many people feel tension, exhaustion, or disconnection from their bodies. Grief is not just something we think about…it is something we carry physically, too.
This gentle webinar explores how grief lives in the body and offers simple, body-based practices to help you reconnect with yourself. Together, we’ll focus on calming the nervous system, noticing physical and emotional signals, and creating small moments of grounding and support.
Try this Simple Practice:
One Tiny Act
Pick ONE thing.
Not five. Not a whole routine. One basic thing that helps you feel a little more human.Make it small enough that you can actually do it.
Get dressed. Drink water. Walk to the mailbox. Eat breakfast. Tiny counts.Make it non-negotiable.
Not based on motivation. Not based on mood. Just one small promise to yourself each day.Notice how you feel afterward.
Not perfect. Not “fixed.” Just a little more grounded. That’s enough. Small shifts become stability over time.