Stop Fighting Reality.

As I sit and watch the snow falling from the sky, I find myself thinking about a tropical beach somewhere, feeling the sun on my face. Wishing things were different than they are. Not being in the present moment.

Instead, what if I got dressed in my snow pants, boots, jacket, hat, and gloves, and went out to play in the snow? I used to do it all the time. There’s no such thing as bad weather, only improper clothing.

No matter what I do, think, or feel, it won’t stop the snow from falling. It’s easy to disconnect from what’s really happening rather than pause and accept the situation we’re in.

Once we find acceptance, we gain choice over what we do next.

This also applies to grief.

No matter what I do, my sister will never come back to physical life. It’s a harsh truth, but one I must face. Once I’m able to accept my situation, I then have the power to choose what I do next.

And since the outcome will always be the same, I can choose to find hope and joy again, or, I can choose to stay in victimhood. Most days, I choose the former. Some days, I choose the latter. Either way, I am the one who chooses.

The process of accepting our situation doesn’t have to be long or arduous. It takes about 90 seconds to ride the wave of our thoughts, feelings, and sensations, but only if we stop feeding them.

When the overwhelming rush of grief comes, take a moment to feel all the feelings. Let your mind surrender. Notice the sensations as they arise. Take a few deep breaths and remember: this is your grief.

Let the roller coaster ride happen. Then ask yourself one simple question:
Do I want to continue feeling this way?

If the answer is yes, that’s okay, keep doing what you’re doing.
If the answer is no, do something different.

It’s not the situation that causes the pain.
It’s the fight against reality.

Relax into the moment and trust that you’re doing exactly what you need to be doing. Grief is a unique journey.

As for me—I’m putting on my snow gear and going to play in the snow.

Go with power,
Jason

Try this Simple Practice:

Accepting the Present Moment

1. Pause and breathe
Take three slow, deep breaths.
In through your nose.
Out through your nose.
Let your shoulders drop.

2. Name the thoughts
Quietly ask yourself:
“What am I thinking right now?”
No judging. No analyzing.
Just name it: planning, worrying, remembering, wishing.

3. Name the feelings
Next ask:
“What am I feeling?”
Use simple words: sad, anxious, heavy, calm, angry, numb.
There’s no right answer.

4. Notice the body
Bring attention to your body and ask:
“What sensations are here?”
Tight chest. Heavy stomach. Warm face. Shaky hands.
Just notice where they live.

5. Accept the moment
Silently say:
“This is what’s here right now.”
No resistance. No story.

Just allowing this moment to be exactly as it is.

Take one final breath.

You don’t have to change anything.
You don’t have to feel better.
You’re just choosing to stop fighting reality for a moment.