The Parts of Grief We Share, and the Parts We Don’t.
This weekend I went to see “Avatar: Fire and Ashe.”
It picks up right where the last movie ended, with the family dealing with the death of one of the Sully children. For those of you who haven’t seen it yet, I’ll stay right there so I don’t give anything away.
There’s a phrase that runs through the Avatar story:
“Sullys stick together.”
As a family, they believe they are stronger together than they are apart.
And that got me thinking…
What about in grief?
I believe that idea is only partly true.
Yes, we need to stick together. Absolutely.
And… we also need time to figure out our grief on our own.
There are moments when we have to step away from our tribe, sit with ourselves, and do some real reflection to find the path that’s right for us. Because no two grief journeys are the same.
Early on in my own journey, my parents did two things at the same time:
they stayed very close to me, and, they pulled away from me.
They watched every step I took, afraid I might do something dangerous, while also not being fully available for the ways I was trying to move forward. I remember having to set boundaries around their overprotection. And then… I had to wait. Wait for them to see my growth. Wait for them to acknowledge my successes.
In time, they did.
That experience is one of the reasons daily rituals are so important to me.
They put me in a resourceful place at the start of my day. So when waves of grief (or just life) come crashing in, I’m better prepared to meet them head-on. On the days I skip those rituals, I notice it’s much harder to bounce back from adversity.
No one is immune from loss.
It’s going to touch all of us.
And whether we face it, avoid it, block it, or fight it, that’s still how we’re dealing with it. I began my journey in darkness and resistance. Over time, I made a choice to turn toward the light.
Just like in Avatar, we are all connected by a neural network. And when you want to remember where you come from, you find your Tree of Souls. You listen. You talk to your ancestors. You reconnect. You find your path.
No matter which way you’re facing right now, know this:
There are some parts of grief you have to do by yourself.
And you are not alone.
Go with power,
Jason
Try this Simple Practice:
Together, Alone, and Guided
Set aside 10–12 minutes.
No phone. No fixing. Just presence.
Step 1: Together
Think of one person — living or not — who represents support for you.
A family member. A friend. An ancestor.
Ask yourself quietly:
What do I receive from connection right now?
What feels supportive about not doing this alone?
Just notice. No answers required.
Step 2: Alone
Now bring your attention inward.
Ask yourself:
What part of my grief is mine to walk through right now?
What do I need to understand for myself — without explaining it to anyone else?
Let whatever comes up be enough.
Step 3: Higher Power
Now turn your awareness upward — or outward — toward whatever you consider a higher power.
God. Spirit. Source. Nature. The universe. Love itself.
Ask one simple question:
What would you have me know right now?
Then pause.
You don’t need words. Sometimes guidance comes as a feeling, an image, or a sense of calm.
Step 4: Integrate
Take one slow breath and say (out loud or silently):
“I can lean on others.
I can trust myself.
And I am being guided.”
That’s it.