The Privilege of Getting Older
Every wrinkle, scar, and grey hair is evidence of a privilege not everyone gets.
Every wrinkle, scar, and grey hair is evidence of a privilege not everyone gets.
I just celebrated my 55th birthday.
When I woke up that morning, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the privilege of living as long as I have.
Many people, including my sister, did not get that privilege.
And as for getting older…
Most people complain about it.
I love it.
The wrinkles on my skin. The grey in my hair. The balding spot on the top of my head that most people can’t see until I bend down. The scars and marks from cuts and scrapes.
All of it.
Do I need to do things a little differently? Sure.
I now have to decide whether I really want to stay out past midnight drinking and partying because it will take me three days to recover.
I can’t just go to bed at 5am, wake up at 7am, go to work, and expect to function.
I have to prep my meals for the week instead of just shoving a few slices of pizza in my mouth when I’m hungry.
I have to set my mind for an amazing day because life has thrown, and continues to throw, curveballs that I have to hit.
And I have to keep choosing curiosity because it doesn’t always come as naturally as it did when I was younger.
As much gratitude as I have for all the amazing things in my life, I’ve learned that I also have to find gratitude for the upsets and challenges.
Gratitude for the amazing stuff is easy.
Gratitude for life’s biggest struggles is hard.
Finding gratitude in my grief has taken some time, for sure. But I can now see all the benefits it has brought me.First, it has made me more resilient.
If I can live through the death of my younger sister, I can handle anything.
It has also lowered my tolerance for superficial nonsense.
I want to go deep with people. I want the people I spend the most time with to be people I can talk about the hard things with.
It has made me more courageous.
Lauren did not have the opportunity to chase her dreams.
I am not going to squander mine.
And with that, it has given me the faith to pursue my dreams even when there was no evidence they were going to pay off.
And finally, at least for now, it has given me the desire to serve others.
Before Lauren passed, I was only serving myself.
All of these lessons came with time, age, and wisdom.
Age really is only a number if you stay mentally, emotionally, and energetically young.
That’s something I work on every day.
Most of the time when someone asks me my age, I have to ask my wife how old she is and then add one.
Because our beliefs shape our reality, I KNOW I am going to live past 100 years old.
And I have a lot of living still ahead of me.
Are you taking advantage of the privilege you’ve been given?
Go with power,
Jason
Somatic Grief Therapist
Try this Simple Practice:
The Privilege of Aging
Honor the Evidence
Look in the mirror and notice one sign that you’re getting older… a wrinkle, grey hair, scar, whatever. Instead of wishing it away, remember what you had to live through to earn it.Find the Gratitude in the Hard Stuff
Think of one challenge, loss, disappointment, or curveball that changed you. Ask yourself: “What did this give me that I didn’t have before?” Resilience? Courage? Perspective? Faith? Compassion? Wisdom?Use the Privilege
Ask yourself: “If getting another day isn’t guaranteed, what am I going to do with this one?” Then do one thing that matters… call someone you love, chase something you want, serve somebody, take the risk, have the conversation.
Getting older isn’t something you have to tolerate. It’s evidence you’re still here.
