They're not gone, when you do this, they are here.

The Hebrew word Yizkor translates to "I will remember." I came to realize this Yom Kippur that this is the most powerful thing we can do to bring our loved ones back into existence: remembering the ones we love.

In the beginning of my grief journey, if anyone had told me I could bring my sister back into being just by remembering her, I would have had a few choice words to tell them where they could go. Over the years, I recognized the fact that whether I chose to believe that she is gone forever (into the dark void that is our universe) or to believe she could still be present (albeit in a different way), either belief would not bring her back into physical form. What harm would it do me to entertain the notion that a piece of her may still be around? And I am glad I did.

I have done a lot of research in both psychology and personal development. There have been studies that compare mental rehearsal of a particular task vs. physical practice of the same task. The outcomes of those studies show that mental rehearsal of a task shows similar improvements on that task as the physical practice of it. So, if we practice something in our imagination, our bodies treat it as if it is actually happening.

Under those results, if you adopt the belief that your loved one is no longer here and with you, then you are creating that reality. And you may be creating more pain than necessary. What we imagine comes into being.

So, if imagining something brings it into being, I chose to take a leap of faith and imagine my sister here with me, writing this email, helping me come up with the words I am sharing with you. Every time I do that, she is alive in my mind, in my heart, and in the present moment.

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Go with Power,

Jason