You are Valuable.

How do you know when a joke is a dad joke? When it is apparent. A PARENT, get it?

Don’t groan too loudly.

As today is Father’s Day, I felt compelled to start the email off with a bad joke. However, for some people, this is a tough day. Just like grief, everyone’s situation is so unique that Father’s Day can be amazing and/or a bit of a challenge. 

My mind started going down the rabbit hole of all different scenarios that can have an impact on the men (and children) in our communities. Families that wanted children and could not have them (whether by choice or circumstances), partners that have experienced a miscarriage (which is more common than people think and no one wants to talk about it), the death of a father, the loss of a child, the death of a spouse, taking care of a deceased sibling’s children… See how quickly I can spiral out?

Whenever I look outside myself toward others, it is a reminder to look within myself. It mirrors my own story. When my wife and I were in our 20s and 30s, we made a decision. We decided that if children were in our future, then it would happen organically. We did, however, visit the doctors to make sure there were no issues (which there weren’t). As fate decided, having children was not in our future.

As we continued to live life, the question of how many children do you have always came up (and still does). When I tell people that we do not have any children, I get that sideways glance. I imagine they are wondering why. Is there something wrong? Do I not like children? Was it a choice? I can feel the judgment behind the glance.

One time I even heard someone question, "What is the value of living if you don’t have children?”

My answer to that question is, “Everyone has value.” END OF STORY. Whether you do or do not have children, whether you are dealing with the loss of a loved one, whether you have trauma in your past, whether you have health challenges, whether you are rich or poor, whether you are tall or short—YOU HAVE VALUE.

I am the most amazing Yunkle Yason to my nephews, I run a free peer support group for my fellow bereaved siblings, I am an administrator for my veggie co-op to support local farmers, I help people navigate their grief, I bring value into everything that I do. My life is being driven in service to others. 

So, if you are in the camp of having challenges today, remember your value. List the things you are passionate about and add value to those things. 

You are like a drop of water in an ocean. Adding value creates a ripple that affects everything around you.

Have a peaceful Father’s Day.