It Takes a Village.

They say it takes a village to raise a child. Happy Day to all the people who are involved in raising the next generation. 

I have been going back and forth about what to discuss in today’s email. As I am getting ready to leave to meet the family for Mother’s Day, I want to talk about how grateful I am that I live so close to my parents that I can see them when I want. I am also grateful that we all get along with my in-laws, so we can spend the day together (without having to go from one house to the other). 

Even with the gratitude, it required priorities on my part. I made decisions in my life that put all those pieces into place. Growing up, both sets of grandparents lived a few blocks away. Whenever I was sick, one of my grandmothers was able to watch me. Growing up with that sense of community was so important. So, the decisions I made (and still make) keep me close to my family and my community. Just realized that is why I started this email with “Takes a Village”.

I am also well aware that for some of us, it is better to be farther away from our families. If it is the choice between my mental health, or being in a toxic environment, I always go with protecting my mental health. And, creating a family of choice may be the more appropriate option, which I also have. The people we surround ourselves with has a tremendous impact on our state of being. We are the average of the 5 people we hang around the most. So, chose your connections wisely.

The other topic that came up for me today was the awareness I have around my pain threshold. That is the amount of pain I am willing to endure before making a change. Since Lauren’s death, my pain threshold has been extremely high. I am continually working at taking action more quickly and not letting the pressure build up. This allows me to release the pressure more slowly. If I let the pressure build too much, then I lash out at the people I love, And, that is usually my family, and that is not fair to them. 

How high is your threshold and what can you do to relieve the pressure?